A Bittersweet Affair

The first hello in your trembling eyes
The food you devoured with a ghastly prime
The beastly demeanour I trained with might
The being it replaced so loving and kind
The days became shorter and life bright
The strength you
wielded to safeguard my pride
The society feared any different type
The tiny error grew into a mountain climb
The time came to protect my saviour
The inevitable separation became a woeful affair
The promises for forever will always reside
The last goodbye in your haunting eyes

Our First Photograph

polaroid-backsOpening the box in the attic under a layer of dust. The box of lost memories where all the magic happened. All those childhood stories come rushing back. Some a little vague and some crystal clear. Every object has its own significance, its own sentiment. Some good and some bad but all life altering. From the scribbling on a paper titled ‘a scenery’ to the friendship band, every item holds a special place in my heart. Remembering all those sweet moments, I come across this old photograph of me with an embarrassed face and my best friend Kara as always smiling. I think we were in 5th grade. I remember that day very well.

It was my first day at a new school after we shifted. I was so nervous that I didn’t get much sleep the night before. I am very a shy and reserved person so its difficult for me to make friends. I don’t easily blend with new people. So when I got to school, I had a hard time finding the right class and when I did it was very awkward. Everybody started staring at me like I was an alien and I got conscious and tripped and ultimately fell to a bad day. All the kids laughed at me and made fun of me until the teacher entered. After introducing me she started teaching none other the worst subject – Maths. As she droned on and on about fractions, I felt more and more sleepy. I don’t even remember closing my eyes when i suddenly woke up by someone yelling, “Oh, look here we have another one. Someone please wake her UP !” I instantly sat up straight and with sleepy eyes saw a girl standing beside me not caring about the attention we were receiving. “I know how you are” teacher said pointing at the other girl,”but the new kid looked sincere. Both of you to the corner now!” She said pointing at a corner in front of the class. As we went there the teacher pulled out a Polaroid camera,”Now for the wall of shame.”and clicked our photograph rolling her eyes at the other girl smiling in it and put it up on the bulletin board titled ‘Wall of Shame’. Apparently all the kids sent to the corner had their photos clicked and put up there. Later when the teacher resumed teaching and we were stuck in the corner the other girl whispered,”How can other kids not sleep while she is teaching? By the way, I am Kara, and its a pleasure to meet someone normal in this school.” And we have been inseparable ever since. I met Kara on that insufferable morning who made the rest of the day bearable. Later we sneaked that photo, our first photograph together of thousands more to come.

If I had to pick a friend on that day I definitely wouldn’t have picked Kara as she and I are very different and she has a very badass personality unlike me. So I am glad that you don’t get to pick your friends because they eventually find you!

Significance Of Hope

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“Hey mom , have you seen the book I was reading earlier ? ” I asked frantically searching my room.

” The Sherlock Holmes one ? No , sorry.” She shouted from the other room.

” I think I left it in the town park, I am going to go check there. ”

So I rushed to the bench in the park where I was sitting earlier in hope of finding it and instead found a girl in a little ragged  old  clothes trying to read my book.

” Hey ! That is my book . ” I said in an angry tone.

” What this ? Sorry I didn’t know , I just found it lying here.” She apologised.

” Its okay ” I said realising she was just a kid.I sat down beside her.

” I saw you weren’t able to read it properly.” I asked after calming down.

” Yeah well ,  I can’t really read.” She said looking at her feet.

” Don’t you go to school ? You look very young . How old are you ? ” I enquired.

” I am 11 and I don’t go to school . My family can’t afford it.” She said sadly. ” That is why I am self-learning .I try to read and write whenever I can. I am not very good right now but soon I will be.Then maybe I can pass the scholarship exam at Global School and study there. Then I’ll be able to earn money when I grow up and my mother won’t have to work so much.” She said with gleaming eyes.

” You are very smart. That is a good plan but you will have to work really hard. ” I said matter-of-factly.

” I know . My mum says that with a little hope anything is possible. ” She replied with a smile.

” Your mum is a smart woman like you. You know I can help you in passing that exam . It’s after 4 months.Come here everyday at 5 o clock and I’ll teach you.Now I have to go. Remember tomorrow at 5. Bye ! ” I said as I was about to leave.

” Wait you forgot your book.” She shouted stopping me.

” You keep it as an early passing gift . ” I said with a big smile. ” Wait, Whats your name ? I am kim. ” I asked remembering I didn’t know her name.

” My name  is also Kim. What a coincidence !” She replied excitedly.

” Maybe not a coincidence at all . ” I said thinking how god works in mysterious ways.

Later  I returned home .

” Did you find your book ? ” My mom asked me.

” Yes and something much more valuable. ” I replied.

That day I found what a little hope can do. That day I found the significance of hope !

The Gift

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Strolling in the park in the summer breeze with your love , nothing beats this.The cool breeze playing with her hair and bringing back its strawberry scent , it’s just like our first date all over again.Her hand in my hand , nothing will bring me down today. Like all our problems have vanished , but Sara tells me otherwise.

*  *  *  *

I have to tell him , sooner or later he will know , it’s better to tell him sooner , just like a band – aid , fast and steady . I know he always wanted to have kids , a weird mixture of both of us. So no bullshitting just fast and straight forward. ” Paul , I , um , I can’t become a mother , ever .” I whispered . ” What ?”  his trembling voice asked . ” I went to see the doctor and it turns out we can’t have our own weird little mixture . ” I tell him while trembling myself. Then I notice the tears streaming down his face . He hugs me . ” Oh , honey , are you okay ? I am so sorry .” Now tears start flowing down my face also . ” Its okay.We have so many other options now . We can always adopt . We have so much love to give , we will share it with a kid and make him our kid.”

*  *  *  *

Such a great weather to be outside and knitting. Young love everywhere I see , creating their memories and growing more and more in love every second . I know eavesdropping is bad but I can’t help but hear a couple’s conversation standing few feet away. Now this is what I call love , facing all problems together and growing with them . I go towards the crying couple . ” I am sorry for listening in your conversation , here, ” and I hand them the sweater I was knitting , ” I was knitting it for my grandson , but I give it to you as a gift . I hope it will work as a lucky charm and fill your life with the sweet laughter of kids .”

*  *  *  *

 

 

Light V/S Dark

8BA_darkness_and_light ” Now Lissa you speak on light and Rose you on dark and demonstrate an argument on Light v/s Dark.” said Mrs. Briggs with a smile on her face, knowing both of them to be very competitive.

( They both staggered nervously to front of the classroom.)

Lissa : Light depicts purity , goodness and peace , it marks the beginning of day and hope for a better one.

Rose : Dark depicts fear , death and depression , it marks the end of day and teaches us that every beautiful day has to end for a more beautiful one to begin.

Lissa : Darkness doesn’t destroy darkness only light can do that. Without light , there will be only dark and in dark only death.

Rose : Without dark , there is no purpose of light. Only in dark , you  miss light , you understand the value of light.

Lissa : Light illuminates people and make them cognizant.

Rose : Only after total darkness , people obtain that light. Only in dark one can see the stars.

Lissa : Light is hope , faith and miracles.

Rose : Darkness is the test or situation to prove all that hope , faith and miracles of light.

Lissa : So as every yin has yang , I guess light can’t be light without dark.

Rose : And dark can’t be dark without light.

( Both went back to their seats satisfied with their performance and understanding that light and dark are  just two sides of the same coin .)

 

 

 

A Tribute

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“See you tomorrow”, Ritika said as I left to go back home after our run in the park .Just when I thought I had overcome my gawkiness, I slipped on a piece of paper. Someone must have dropped it. As I picked it up I noticed it was letter . Ooh a love letter , so exciting . And I started reading it.

Dear Lucy
How are you? Please come back home. Everything is alright now. No one blames you , it wasn’t your fault.It was just your parents time. Death is a part of life , it surely marks the end but also completion of a life. Nobody knows how they will die but I know if given this privilege , your parents would gladly die again to save their precious daughter’s life because that’s what parents do. Honey I know I can’t understand what you are going through , but you don’t have to bear it alone. We will endure this grief together. You owe it to your parents to at least try. Don’t make their death a tragedy , make it a tribute.
Love
Aunt Kim

I read with watery eyes.Later I asked around about the letter’s owner but only to fail. I probably won’t find Lucy or know her full story but I’ll keep her letter to remind me that you always have a choice , choice of how to deal with grief and make that grief fuel for resilience . Turn a tragedy into a tribute. And never forgetting this will be my tribute to this letter.